Tuesday, March 11, 2008

"Mom, did you know Zoey is going to have a baby?"


That was my answer when I asked Max how he was doing the other day. I've actually been meaning to comment on this. Truly, wondering if any of you with girls have been answering questions from your sweet girls out there. Max was totally appalled at the thought of a teen movie star having a baby. Quite frankly (because we did not discuss the logistics) I'm not certain if he knows exactly what happened....just that she should not be having a baby...while she herself is still a baby. He seemed much older than 9 asking me this question. Was not embarassed in the least! It was just the way it was. Anyway, after I told him that I did hear she was going to have a baby and that I thought it was sad. I told him she was probably feeling scared too. I don't want to just judge in front of him. I was thinking it was a good time to teach some empathy too. You see he has jumped on this train of judgement (that I jump on too from time to time) but need to be reminded that yet by the grace of God and some smart choices.....I could be where any other struggling person is. I've been that struggling person at times too. So, I want to be careful about throwing those stones! So as I was sharing my compassionate thoughts with him, he said, "Mom, she is going to turn out just like Britney". Good grief....I'm thinking....What all does he know about Britney? He is only 9 and we don't have her stuff in the house! So, I ask the question, "Max, what do you know about Britney?" He replies, "Mom, everyone knows she does drugs and she does not want to be a mom anymore". Again...sadness. We talk about that for a moment. I also want to be sure I am careful when I address these situations because I want my kids to learn kindness to everyone, especially those who need it more than some. Some day, it may not be a celebrity who's doing drugs and who is pregnant before its time. It might be their best friend or a family member. I need to teach them through these situations with media the ideal of how we should handle situations like this as Christians. In all things....we are teaching. Basically, I am reminded that my kids know more than I think they do and they have conversations when they are away from me that I would probably never dream of. I need to constantly ask the question, did you know...and did you hear. I want to be the one explaining current situations with them. Just because he is 9, I can't assume he does not know these things. I remember Kevin and I having to talk to Nick about sex in the 3rd grade after he asked a girl in our neighborhood if she had sex with her boyfriend. We were totally shocked! After talking with him, he thought that sex meant kiss. Oh....that at least made us feel better. He felt more empowered too. After our conversation, he proceeded to tell us that Joseph had no idea what he was talking about! We need to be the source of correction and knowledge for our kids. A great resource that we have used is a series of know your body books from Lifeway. You can start as early as 7. Sex and all issues related should be something that you talk openly about in your home. If we don't, our kids will constantly turn to their peers and they'll think they have the correct information. Open communication. That's what we have to keep open. Even when they ask us something that TOTALLY shocks us....pretend it does not...don't react crazy. Just take a moment, gather yourself and choke out the best answer you can...with a smile of course. Then, go grab your spouse or a friend and totally let go if you need to.

Oh, to wrap up the conversation with Max - we finished our chat on Jamie Lynn and Britney Spears. We are walking toward the door of the restaurant and Max says, "Mom, I guess Jamie Lynn might be ok, but what are they going to do about Lindsey Lohan? You know..the girl from Herbie??" I love being a mom!

No comments: