We will all be found out....one way or another.

Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper,
but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.

—Proverbs 28:13

Have you ever been 'busted'? I mean, totally found out regarding something you were trying to hide, or thinking you were hiding from everyone around you? That is the worst feeling! BTW, now is the not the time for my husband, friends, kids or especially my parents to comment on my 'hidings'. Got that? HA!

Last night, I went to borrow my middle son's IPOD. I point out which son, because my oldest....has been there done that.....gets defensive sometimes on the 'it wasn't me' stuff. And...the who is not so important other than that reason, because we totally all sin and fall short. There is none perfect.....nobody but Jesus. So...back to the story - and the point of this blog. As I asked my son for his IPOD so that I could use his stopwatch - he told me I could use his phone. BAM - a flag went up. I asked again. He told me he was about to use it. Then...I smiled.....kind of an evil smile, well, not really evil, but that 'hey I'm on to something' smile. I pretty much at that point demanded the IPOD.

Let me take you back - the night before he told me he was going to download a song. We agreed on the song and I told him I would be checking the IPOD. I didn't check it that night - but I do periodic checks to see what is downloaded and about once a week or so, I go through our Itunes account to see what activity there has been, etc. So.......I am getting the picture through the ordeal that was taking place last night...that he didn't download the song that we agreed upon. Now, the song he chose....was just crappy. It was probably not the worst subject matter in the entire world. Probably not.....but it was still just crud. Not something I want my teenage boys head filled with 24 -7! There are some really cruddy songs out there! But...some great ones to chose from...so we do have options!

As he handed over the IPOD, he said, "I know, you are going to check my IPOD, and I'm going to be in trouble". He then went on...without me asking...to tell me that when he had gone down the night before, he downloaded a 'bad' song and I would find it on his IPOD. Confession time...totally spilling the whole scenario. Kevin came in with that look that said..."How did you know this and how in the world do you get him to spill it like that?". I don't know....its just a mom thing. Or...truly, I believe its a holy spirit thing.

After the confrontation, my son looked pretty sad, and said, I'm sorry, I'll go to bed now. He started to walk off and away pretty rejected. I then called him back to say, "Wait, do I not get a kiss goodnight? I mean, I'm taking your IPOD for a week because you know it was wrong, but I still love you and want a hug and kiss". (This is big because he sleeps with his IPOD) He turned and smiled and kissed both me and Kevin and went to bed. This morning, I asked him about the song and about asking God for forgiveness. About how important it is, each and every day to find peace with ourselves and God. He said, he was surprised at how we didn't yell at him. That was funny - because we really don't yell alot at our house. You would think its the other way with how they are constantly surprised by our reactions in situations...but anyway. I reminded him though it was a forced confession in a sense - he still confessed to us that he had done something wrong, BEFORE we found out on our own. When that happens, mercy flows and consequences though still tough sometimes......seem a bit lighter. I love seeing things within my life with the boys that truly teach me something about our God. I saw myself in my son last night. The times I've confessed my sin and felt unworthy of His love in return. And how God totally wraps his arms around me and tells me how much he loves me. We have such a great God!

A repentant heart - receives mercy and forgiveness from our heavenly father, no matter what!!! All we have to do is confess our sins and ask him to forgive us. I need to do this daily. DAILY I tell you! But, when we hide our sin and feel prideful that we have nothing inside to need forgiveness from.....our heavenly father has to deal with us in a different way. And hiding sin in our heart.....separates us from the only love that can truly satisfy. You know? Daily confession.......keeps our hearts healthy!

1 John 1:9-12 (New International Version)

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

Psalm 103:11-13 (New International Version)

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

Something funny - I went to www.biblegateway.com to get a verse for the end here and to my delight..... 1 John 1:9 was the Verse of the day. How cool is that? It was just the one I was looking for!

Time really goes by fast!

It's been a while since I've blogged about ANYTHING. Believe me, its not because I haven't been doing anything fun, great or insightful. Its more like - I have not sat down to just do it. I feel the last month has literally moved at a speed faster than the speed of light. I spent a large majority of the beginning of February with my mom and watching over my grandmother. The other part of the month was work, travel, raising a family.....and in the moments in between....trying to be a good wife too. At times, I could feel the chaos totally surrounding me. That is when, in all seriousness I would recall the words that God so sweetly speaks in his word to us, "Be Still and know that I am God". What does this mean to me? I need to slow down, catch my breath, know that he is in control (thank goodness) and everything....does not depend upon me or my abilities. Ah.....sweet release. If it really was that simple right? But I hear his voice all the same. Its just up to me to believe it and actually be still.

I just came back from a FABULOUS spring break. We enjoyed a week with some of our most favorite people in the world. We met the Garrett family at least 8 years ago. Maybe longer. Julie and I had met at church, but had our first real conversation at a choir retreat. Fun times....I think. I can't totally remember back that far. But I know we clicked. Anyway.....here are some fun pics from our trip.

These are my toes in the sand......I love that feeling!


This is me frustrated because our 'pretty beach pics' were being destroyed by the wind...or at least my hair was!


These are our sweet friends - The Garretts. Can you imagine our condo with these 6 boys? Can you say...insane, yet fun??




During the first days of our trip - I spent some time alone on the beach while Kevin took all 6 boys snorkeling around the jetties. For the last 13 years or so, I've kept journals for my boys. I try and record life changing days, hard moments, good moments, just because days...and whatever. I write to them on their birthdays and most holidays too. Why do I do this? Because i want to remember their days. I forget so much. I had originally thought that I would give each journal as a wedding present to my future daughter in laws. Now...I don't know that I can part with them. I always thought it would be a way for my son's wives to get a glimpse into who they were as kids...and how that may have shaped them into the men they become. ANYWAY....the point is I love recording moments in their lives. This past week I recorded as much as I could for each boy. Some entries were harder than others...but that is because life gets harder and decisions come with more consequences the older they get. As I read through the earlier writings, I couldn't help but get overwhelmed with how time rolls on...whether we want it to or not. We run out of minutes, we leap over months...even years. Truly, after that day, I savored each day of Spring Break with the boys. Enjoying watching them play, fight, rough house and just be in front of me. Because, next year, my oldest son will be a senior. AAAHHHHHH! I have got to come to grips with that. I say that I am good with that...and I even encourage him to find something to pursue - even if that is the military. But am I really ready to let go? One entry from Scout's journal described a day that he and I were going to day care and he expressed how he didn't want to go to school and he wished he and I could just go feed the ducks all day at the lake. I loved that day. We made a stop on the way home from work that day....just to feed those ducks.

If you are like me and you feel like you are constantly twirling around - and always trying to catch up. Be sure you take advantage of the little moments. A week here and there. A conversation daily.....and always a hug goodnight no matter how old your kids are. Never forget to tell them how much you love them....believe me they still need to hear it, even at age 16, 14 and 10! They may roll their eyes, but they need it.

So, I'm back from the beach and trying to get my routine down again. That is so hard. I'm going to borrow a line from my friend Amy's blog/facebook. (She is the overthinker linked on the right side of my blog) She describes herself on her facebook page as the following; I'm twirling around, taking care of my family, enjoying my friends and trying to be an amazing child of God! I love it! I feel exactly the same this week. The twirling around represents lots of joy! So know this...I may look chaotic at times...but I'm incredibly joyful and grateful for the many blessings that God has bestowed upon me. I hope to make every moment count. Even the ones I don't capture in my prized journals!