Spend Less - Give More

This has been a wonderful - yet very different Christmas season for us. Don't get me wrong, it has been great - its just felt different. We've put far less emphasis on the gift part....and we've tried hard to spend more time just 'being' together. Enjoying the gift of our family.....and trying to be more mindful of what this season is truly about. Our Pastor has been leading a series of Sundays that have been amazing. The entire series is entitled Christmas Rebellion - Taking Christmas Back. If you weren't there....I wish you could have been. There are some great notes on our church website....click here to read more.

The first Sunday we began this series, we talked about Worship. Worshiping the one we celebrate during this season. As we came in that Sunday, we were asked what burdens we were carrying. What was keeping us from truly experiencing the gift of Christmas. Was it money worries? Family issues? Depression? Name it....then write it down. After we wrote our words down on paper they provided - we tore them up into little pieces - then placed them in a bowl that was passed down each row. Chris asked us to just get rid of those things....give them to God. Worship him fully - and allow him to be the reason for movement and worship and celebration this season. At the end of the service......the tiny pieces of paper had been used to make a beautiful mosaic creation. Two hands holding a heart.




If the picture were closer, you would be able to see portions of the words that were written on the papers. I imagine there were all kinds of words. Being honest with you now...when asked what could hinder me from enjoying the true meaning of Christmas this year - I had to write down busyness. I can get so busy some times I just miss it you know? Not this year....I will not be busy about being busy this year. How beautiful it can be when we give our worries to God and truly worship him with everything we have....holding nothing back. Remember, he promises to give beauty for ashes right??


Last Sunday, we talked about the spending aspect....buying less. And giving more. We even talked about the wise men who set out on their journey to find the one who was promised. They followed a star in the dessert to find the one they knew would change history. Not a king in a palace, but one in a manger...in a barn. How humbling...how amazing....how relatable...how God is that???? The art that was created this past Sunday was pretty amazing. We entered to find a painting of a lady who had a shopping cart full of packages. Through out the message, Chris had taken off packages that were glued to the front of the painting. The Macy's Star that was formerly at the top of that painting was taken off and a majestic star was painted at the top of the canvas. As we sang about the Glory of God and worshiped God....while thinking of changes we could make this season.....pieces of the painting were being cut away. The first layer was being taken off in certain places - where the shopper was once standing. What was unveiled underneath the lady who was in a hurry to shop....was a wise man, on a camel - following a star with a gift in hand...for His King.






It was pretty cool.....it totally made you think. The question I left with yesterday was this; What am I giving this year to my King?? What am I teaching my kids to give? Have I taught them that it really is all about Jesus??? You know, I think my kids do get it. And I'm thankful. Grateful. Chris did ask us if we wrap up Christmas each year....thinking to ourselves that we missed the mark spiritually. You know, thinking that this year...I will make Christmas all about Jesus. Then, we get busy, don't do the things we planned, and still shopped and spent like every Christmas before. Did we not do the devotions...or read with our kids like we planned??? I think we have all felt that once or twice haven't we? He also commented on what the Wise Men must have talked about as they walked away from being in the presence of 'God with us', Emmanuel. Do you think that the Wise Men walked away saying..."yeah, I had big plans for this event...but it didn't really turn out as spiritual as I wanted it too...." No way....they walked away pumped...changed.....and totally fulfilled because their hearts were all about him. Wow...They followed the sign straight to Jesus.

I can't wait to see what next Sunday holds! If I can encourage you to do anything this Christmas besides the obvious of spending less and giving more...I encourage you to find time be alone and thank God for sending his son....to be with us here on earth. Read the Christmas Story, you know..the birth of Christ. Click here...how long has it been since you've walked through these words in the Bible? Its amazing.....inconcievable....and true.


In case you are wondering....yes, Kevin is partly responsible for the artwork you see. I am excited that he is using his talents again within church. We are so excited about what God is doing at a2 Church. We are growing....and Gods word is spreading and that is very cool.....to say the least! We meet each Sunday at 9:45am and always have a fresh pot of coffee going. We have a special Christmas Eve service planned that will be wonderful I know!!!

Matthew 2: 1-2

After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem and asked, "Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him."

Merry Christmas - May you spend less this Christmas as you give and receive so much more!!!!

Skating 101

My youngest son will soon turn 10. He has decided he wants to have a skating party. Where did he get that idea? (I have mentioned having one for myself next year....that might have something to do with it!) My curiosity as to why he would think skating party for himself is because.....he does not know how to skate. When I first thought about that I was just dumb founded. I mean when I was his age...I was in love with the roller rink. I remember at 10 I was already collecting skates, pom poms for my skates....and begging for days at the rink. If you grew up around the Center Point, Huffman area all I have to say is Skate Haven. Did the memories start flooding in? For me...Oh Yeah! I loved to skate. Anyway....

So, I took Max and his buddy skating yesterday. Max loved it. He totally got into the disco lights and music, that is right up his alley. He thought it was funny they played Earth Wind and Fire. He keeps that one going on his CD player. What a hoot! I laughed, laughed and laughed.....and also fell on my rear a couple of times. I could blame it on the skates....the wheels did seem a bit cockney, but I am sure the technique had something to do with it. It took Max and his friend Camryn a long time to get around the rink. I could do 2 in their one. Max was pretty impressed. He loved watching his mom skate. However, I was not as good as I used to be. Remember the cross over with your feet you would do at the turns? Mine is now just a long stride around the corner. Yeah...not as flashy. Couldn't backwards skate anymore. But I could do the whole turn backwards and stop thing still. At least that was something.

My big fall came when I was trying to teach Max and Cam how to skate. How to glide. I was exaggerating my movements and I felt it happening. I leaned back and fourth a few times, something happened with my knees and I literally had my feet fly up and I landed hard on my bum. Max's eyes were HUGE - Cam kind of laughed...but he didn't want to. Max began to laugh, he too fell, and we were all laughing. I had amazing hot pains shooting all up my lower back. Furthermore I had a skin burn on my elbow and I noticed the palm of my right hand was hot too. I had busted 2 blood vessels in my hand. (my friend Julie is a nurse and she looked at it and told me so) Anyway, I got up...and we kept on going for about another hour and a half. What I continued to notice is that there were a whole rink full of kids that really didn't know how to skate. I swear its a lost art. It was also a great workout and Max absolutely loved it too. He wants to go back every week. I think we will!

My favorite part of the day, was when Max told us in the van that he had the best day ever. I was thinking probably because he spent the day with his bud Cameron. When I commented on that, he agreed that was cool, but the best part was spending the day doing something fun with his mom, like skating. Wow, you know, you think you do a great job of spending time with them but sometimes life gets busy and we just let day to day craziness get in our way - and I think sometimes that if they have their buddies with them, they are great with that. But this just reminded me that Max still wants to 'do something' with me. He wants to go skate with me. He even grabbed my hand a couple of times. Granted...it was because he was holding on for dear life. But...its been a while since one of my boys has done that in public on their own urging.

Taking care of business and responsibilities is good thing. But the battle is constantly measuring the amount of time that we directly spend with our children. Even when I think I am doing a good job, a comment like the one Max made has me evaluating my time and who gets more of it. Is it my husband, children, family, friends...work?? Who gets more. If I were to take each hour and write down what I do in a 24 hour day.....who sees me more? Who has more influence on me and I on them? I could go on, but you get the picture. There is a great book by Andy Stanley entitled, 'Choosing to Cheat'. Check out that book for a moment and read a quick review of the book. It sounds crazy at first right? But the whole book discusses each day we 'cheat' somebody out of something with our time. So, make a wise choice in who that will be. Make sure its not the ones that love you dearly. Not just work related decisions, but also serving within good things too. Ministry can sometimes fall into this scenerio too. If you are active within your church community, you know what I'm talking about. It's a great book and I've picked it back up for a refresher and for some encouragement in using my time well! A reminder that sometimes you have to say no to some really good things in order to say yes to the very best things in your life.

Last week, I just happened to schedule a massage appointment for Monday. Seemed kind of a random thought, but its been a while since I've visited my spa and I try to go every so often to keep up with what is going on. yeah, one of the hardships of my job. Anyway, I thought then, that it would be for just relaxing. Well, today I'm enjoying my appropriate dose of ALIEVE and I can totally see that my back needs a bit of work from that fall. Because God does see all and knows all....I wonder if that was my 'divine' suggestion allowing me a gift of recovering on Monday. I'll say yes.... God is good.

Blink

Um.....its Thursday? Where did my Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday go? I truly feel in the blink of an eye I lost 3 days! I am on day 4 in my week. Seriously....I don't remember everything I did! I do know that we've attended a JV game for Spain Park, I am looking forward to another game tonight and one tomorrow night, attended Nature Night for Weeblos, worked on two trifold board projects and a power point......I might have worked a bit.....did I eat or sleep? Not sure....but I think you get the picture. Whew...I'm tired.

It's mornings like this I have to ask myself...did I enjoy my family so far this week? If I haven't...I need to make that a priority. Did we laugh..play...or do we need to run away and make that happen? Spontaneous get aways are great for that. Sometimes that family time I crave can only happen when we leave everything behind. I am getting that feeling. The only problem is...the older my kids get, the more responsibilities they have that don't allow them to just pick up when we get an idea to run away. Nick has football games every Friday night and works most Saturdays. We are part of a church plant group that has commitments every Sunday night. Hmmmmmm, when are we going to run away? We'll just have to note it on the calendar and choose somewhere close so we don't spend our time away....in transit!

This week also held a 'Big First' for us. Nick has had a really good friend (a girl) since middle school. They've been in classes together since the beginning of high school. They've talked each other through girlfriends and boyfriends.....and made fun of each other for 'liking' him or her. Well, this week Nick told us that he has more than just friend feelings for this girl. He's felt them for a while....and now he wants to let her know. But he's scared because she really is one of his best friends and he doesn't want that to change like it can when you date. His hopes are that she stays the same...they can still be silly...fun and try dating at the same time. This girl is sweet, a Christian that loves to share her love for Jesus and an active member of her youth group at church. She also cheers on our Varsity squad so they see each other all the time. Well, he is asking her to Homecoming today. Gulp...I am nervous for him. He says he's not nervous about asking her...but I think he is. So, while we were busy with lots of stuff this week, Nick was busy trying to think of how to ask her to Homecoming. You see, now days, you can't just ask the question...the pressure is on to do it creatively. Kevin gave him great ideas as he is the 'King of Romantic Ideas'. Nick wrote a song that he has been telling his friend about. She has asked him repeatedly to let her hear it. He told her last week he would record it so she could. Well he did.....and in the middle of the recording, he stops playing the guitar and says, "________ Will you go to Homecoming with Me?" I kind of thought he would say something more....but it was short and sweet. I wonder what she'll think??? I'm not worried too much about the outcome though. I have the inside scoop that she has felt more for him for about a year. My source? The mother.
I love this pic. Kind of cool - he could spend hours in the guitar store. He and his friends actually go there to hang out and play guitars. In my day...we hung out in parking lots. Yeah.

So....it may go by fast....but I'm trying to hang on to each happening and enjoy the moment. This whole week makes me think about that Country song, Don't Blink by Kenny Chesney. Sounds corny....but the lyrics are pretty good.

Don't Blink

I turned on the evening news
Saw a old man being interviewed
Turning a hundred and two today
Asked him what's the secret to life
He looked up from his old pipe
Laughed and said "All I can say is."

Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink

I was glued to my tv when it looked like he looked at me and said
"Best start putting first things first."
Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can't flip it over and start again
Take every breathe God gives you for what it's worth

Don't Blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink

So I've been tryin' ta slow it down
I've been tryin' ta take it in
In this here today, gone tomorrow world we're livin' in

Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster then you think
So Don't blink

Naw, don't blink
Life Goes Faster Than You Think

Scout is 14 today!

I love celebrating my kids birthdays. For me, its always a journey back to the day they were born. I guess everyone does that whether they are a parent.....or they are someone elses child. The day you make your debut into this world is special! I remember when I found out I was pregnant with Scout. I didn't know what to really expect, even though I had already had one baby already. I remember talking to my mom and I think I might have been crying too...or at least starting too. But I told her, "I can't imagine loving anything as much as I already love Nick". I was so scared that I would not feel enough love for a second baby....because Nick just overwhelmed every ounce of my heart and then some. My mom reassured me, telling me that I would love my second baby, every bit as much as I do my first. She had experienced those feelings too, having two girls of her own.

Preparing to go to the hospital, I was so worried about Nick. I didn't want him to feel left out, jealous...all those things. We did the whole big brother thing and had tshirt for him, a birthday cake to celebrate Scout's arrival....you name it. Anyway, when Scout was born, he had some challenges with his breathing and ended up in ICU for a few days. We actually ended up being discharged without our baby. I was so sad. It was probably then that I knew....I could love two babies just the same and just as deep. The feelings that I thought were impossible to give to more than one child....were big enough to share...and would eventually be shared with another sweet boy 4 years after Scout was born!

Makes me kind of think about God's love. How he loves me as much as he loves you. The fact that he loves the man who is so lost and removed from him......just as much as he loves me. As a heavenly father, he loves no one greater or more than anyone else. Sometimes, when things don't go our way, we feel less loved and maybe less important. But God, always has us on his mind and ALWAYS loves us. Even when we walk through the valleys. Sometimes, we are in the valley because of choices we make. At other times - its part of a bigger plan we've yet to realize. Whatever the reason.... I'm just glad he loves me.

Scout had a good birthday morning - his favorite breakfast. Actually, I made 'Biscuits and Eggs' Irby Style just for him. The kids have been asking me to do that since vacation and I had yet to do it. So, Irby Family...if you read this, know that you were in our thoughts this morning! Your porch and some coffee....would have made those eggs even better! During breakfast we gave Scout a bag with 14 surprises inside....his favorite stuff....from man food, football cards to root beer. He was happy. This December - he'll receive his official birthday present. He'll be cheering on Brett Favre as he starts the Jets / Titan game in Nashville. He's excited. He's blessed and he is loved!!!!!

Pslam 139

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

Worth = Who you are in Christ

Yesterday, I posted about Scout's day and his feeling of total inadequacy. You know, the conversation I had with him, stayed with me all day. Last night, when playing on Facebook...and reading other blogs (while Kev watched the football game) I visited Vicky Courtney's blog as I usually do. She is the author of the book Your Boy. I've recommended the book several times and a few years back, I led a mom's study on raising boys using that book. It's a great tool! Anyway, Vicky has a great blog from yesterday, Warrior or Wimp: How not to raise a mamas boy. I immediately thought about my friend Julie. We both live in boy world 24-7. The video on Vicky's blog could easily have been at my house or hers. Seriously. Our boys most recently got together and made a potato gun using household items, PVC, aerosol cans and lighters....and yes...we rated the velocity of the shots once it was finished. I guess you can say, we just go with it!

Back to my first thoughts - reading Vicky's blog, prompted me to get out my book, Your Boy. I randomly opened it, and started flipping through all my notes and found a chapter entitled, Searching for worth in all the wrong places. Inside that chapter she reminds us that our boys are just as susceptible to body image problems than girls. She also tells us that our boys (like us) can rely on the world's equations for defining self worth.

Worth = What you look like
Worth = What you do
Worth = What other people think

If you have boys, I encourage you to buy this book. Often, I hear moms say how girls are so fragile emotionally and how their son is so easy because he's just a happy kid, doesn't care about stuff their daughters care about like clothes, looks etc. And while that may be true for some, its still inside some of those boys somewhere....even if they are quiet. Don't think that your son doesn't wrestle with those thoughts just because he doesn't talk about it. Remember, boys definitely don't talk as much as girls do....but they can silently struggle within.

Vicky ends that chapter talking about visualizing yourself as anyone in the world. She talks of a time where she spoke to a crowd of women and held a frame in her hand as she asked a few women to come up on stage and view the frame in her hand to see who she would pick to be....if she could be anyone in the world. This means not only looks - but who that person is in life - and keeping the stuff that person has too. :) As the women came up on stage - Vicky would ask them if they too would choose to be this person if they could be anyone in the world. To their surprise, when they looked inside the frame, they saw a mirror,with their own reflection staring back at them. Then Vicky would ask them the question, would you actually choose to be yourself if you could choose to be anyone.

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know this full well

1 Samuel 16:7 The Lord said to Samuel; "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart"

Lastly...I have not posted pictures in a while...so here are a few of our game last night. It was Scout's first game of the season..... not too much play time, but he got in there and seemed to cheer on his team even when standing on the sideline! That is a good thing too! Max...endured some funny stuff. There was a kid that felt the need to talk to Max and follow him everywhere.

This totally cracked me up. Max announced a few times he was just going to go for a jog...and when he would come back that kid would plop down right beside him again. I couldn't help but laugh. Nick was also there - kind of laughing at how funny it is that one person can have the ball and run it the length of the field for a touch down in one play. Oh...the days!

Even though he seemed to be annoyed, he was a great big brother after the game and took Scout seriously as he discussed his thoughts of the game and stuff like that. The van ride home was fun....and we were entertained by Nick's boy humor.....and I too...a very girly girl...found myself laughing and the laughter of my crazy boys! It was a good night and there were no tears. :) Life is good.


I love this one. It was cool to see both sides praying together after the game.

Money can't buy you love....or happiness...but it sure can make you feel good at times!

We know that's true. If you disagree....then you are not being honest. I didn't grow up with tons of money, but I always had everything I needed and more. But I do remember as a young teenager taking notice of those who had 'more' or 'better' things than I did. I guess that is just human nature. You know?

Yesterday morning started out like any other day - we enjoyed breakfast together...everything calm.....then we realized our chatting over breakfast lasted 10 minutes longer than usual and both kids missed their buses. This is just the beginning of chaos for my son Scout. First you need to know he gets hives even thinking of being late to school. Yesterday was worse because he is doing the weather this week on his morning TV broadcast and they want you to go early. Oh...if you know Scout you can only imagine how this was starting him off for the day. Kevin got him to school....and called me to let me know he thought the day was salvaged.

Scout usually wraps up football practice around 5:30pm on Wednesday. Kevin was a great husband and decided to pick Scout up for me. I was happy. One less trip for me! So Kevin, shows up to pick Scout up along with his buddy to take everyone home. To Kevin's detriment....Scout was still in a mood - only the mood had taken an even more downward turn. By the time they got home, Kevin came in alone....and Scout stayed in the truck for a bit.

OK...now I know you are thinking...I don't need the play by play...but remember...I am girl, and this is what we do. If I don't describe everything for you, you might miss the feeling of the story. :) You hear me? Back to the story...

After Scout came in we began to talk and he shared that he had just had a bad day. He was pretty emotional too. We got past the whole bus thing, and even the bad attitude and through alot of tears and frustration on his part it all came out. He's just not happy when he compares himself to the other kids at his school. He measures his self worth against the other kids and they seem to be worth far more to him. You see, Scout sees large homes, lots of stuff, and then the car pool line. He was picked up in our 16 year old's teal green 94 Ford Ranger - when his buddy was picked up in front of him in a Porsche'. He went on to tell me (like I hadn't noticed) that he attends a school where there are tons of rich kids and they have million dollar houses and lots of stuff. It just came to a head for Scout and because he's used others success and outward appearance as his definition of happiness, he falls short every day. And this is a kid who has to have things right. He has to be on time, has to do homework right, has to make As and Bs. And he needs to fit in.

With lots of hugs and reassurance, I shared with Scout that those feelings are normal and that sometimes we all still struggle with those feelings. But...only Jesus can fill that space inside that we try to stuff and fill with other things. Our soul longs for happiness and fulfillment and we surely find it temporarily in things of this world...but they quickly fade...and then we look for the next thing. But God....He is there...and never leaves. He fills again and again, every day we choose to walk with him. Although Scout smiled and gave me a hug, I know in his 13 year old mind, he still wishes for what some of his friends have. I am in my late 30's (that sounds really good) and I find that I am just now reaching that point in my life where I am good. I am content because I've tried to fill my life with things. Been there done that...and paid lots of credit card bills to prove it. And guess what....the happiness just didn't stick! Have you been there too? We may not have the biggest or best house, but we have a home that I would not trade for any amount of money. I am IN LOVE with my Sienna Mini Van....to me, its the top of the line luxury car right now! But...it is the season of life I'm in too. I'm not a crazy person. :) I think that as we change and grow, our wants do to. I am not saying stuff is bad - I like stuff. I enjoy my Dooney & Bourke every now and then. What I am saying is that kids today have so much...and our culture breeds more is better...you must have the best. And it hits our home today....because my 13 year old, who God made to be extraordinary feels less than ordinary because he doesn't see in our lives what the world says is good. I know that God is working in him, and that soon, he will see differently. This is just kind of new for us.This was not an issue with our oldest. He is pretty much content...doesn't care about stuff like that kind of kid. He in fact, can't wait to master the stick shift so he can drive that teal green 94 Ranger to school! And he'll proudly park in between the Hummers, Land Rovers and Mercedes that are filling his parking lot these days at the high school. But he's found a certainty in Christ...that Scout is still searching for. And I'm praying he finds that as well. I know it took me a while too when I was his age.

All of this, is just a reminder that I need to be sure I am talking to my kids...and I know their hurts and I pray for God's working in their life. Scout is loud...and can make you think that he is sooooo all that. But inside, like so many other young teens, he too just wants to know who he really is. I can tell you who he is. He is a child of the king...and that...beats anything you can buy!

Growing Pains

I am traveling right now and as I wind down from a day of clients, I can't help but think about my youngest son and his growing pains. I am wondering if he's walking downstairs to tell his daddy that he has them again. Almost every night he comes to me and says either his shin hurts or his foot hurts with growing pains. What do we do? Just like my mom did....I get out the trusty Absorbine Jr. and all the pain goes away. So far, I've done this with all three boys. Scout would probably wish for more growing pains since he finds himself to be way too short. But don't tell him I said that. Anyway...

Last night, as we were applying the 'green magic', Max looked at me and said, "Mom, I am just growing all the time. And sometimes Mom, it just hurts". I laughed at first, but after I re-tucked him in....I thought...Wow... you are right Max, sometimes growing up does hurt. Growing in Christ can hurt sometimes too. Mainly for me, because I am learning to die to myself and become more like Christ. Those times can be costly to my selfish will. But oh....the prize so satisfying.

I look at my older sons after thinking about Max's words and I think.....wow.....if only a medicine bottle could make things easier for them. But...where would the growth be in that? Just like me....when I was a teenager, they have to and NEED to walk through their time of growth and listening to the Lord with their own ears and heart. What is hard, is when those times include hardship, trial and consequence. I wish I could take that away from them. But back to their growth...and that sometimes means growing pains rights? And me? As the mama....I'll keep praying and being there for them, always seeing the little boy in them...even when a more grown up version is standing in front of me. And I'll long for the days of rubbing legs with Absorbine Jr. all over again. But this one thing I do know, He is faithful and hears my prayers and your prayers for our children. Even when we as human parents feel helpless and like we are losing control as they grow older. He is faithful to them...just as he was to us. Thank you Jesus. I love Philippians 1:6 for my kids. I love it for me too, but thinking about the boys, I'm reminded when I begin to doubt that He will finish what he started and he has surely started a good work within their hearts and lives. So even when I being to question....I know this.

Philippians 1:6
And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.

Choices & The First Day of School

Today is the first day of school for my boys. I am not sure where the summer went. They were all excited this morning and a little nervous too. Last night was hard getting everyone to bed. I tried for 8:30 with Max. We made it by 9pm. That was not too bad. Scout was ready and had a schedule of his own. He wanted to be in bed by 9:30pm. Nick on the other hand could not settle down to be in bed that early. He’s been going to bed around 11pm or 12midnight some nights. Sometimes later…so he was having a bit of a time.

When Scout was going to bed, he asked me to come in and pray with him. Now, we still ‘tuck’ Max in, but Scout has started putting himself to bed. When he asks Kevin or I to come with him and pray, we know something is up. Basically, he was just nervous about friends, making friends, and football. You see he loves the sport. Loves it! But…does not want to be hit. There in lies the problem. He wished he were bigger so that the impact would not be so bad! He is a teenager trying to figure it all out. I am honored to pray with him…especially when it is at his request. That….will keep me going for days even when I pick up his dirty laundry!

This morning, while we were at breakfast we talked about making a difference in their schools this year. Being strong in the Lord. Being salt and light. We read a few verses from Matthew that have everything to do with our lives as adults too. The truth within these verses, will never change. Whether we work, stay at home, travel…whatever, the choice we have to make is always the same.

Matthew 7:13
Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.

Well, here are my boys from this morning. They will love these one day I am sure. I told Nick I wanted to take one with him by his car holding up the keys. You know…something that says, “Hey, I’m driving to school”. He just stared at me with a blank look then rolled his eyes. That was quickly followed with, “Why don’t I just hold them up and say hey, I’m a dork”. As you can see…I didn’t get that shot this morning. Too cheesy for my way cool Junior in high school.

Too good not to pass on!

If you live in Birmingham and listen to WDJC you've heard about Kendra Smiley. She and her husband John wrote a parenting and marriage book that they are promoting this week. The title of the book is Do your kids a favor....love your spouse.

I have really enjoyed listening to exerpts from the book this week and have found that I've been encouraged as well. I've been challenged to look at how I love Kevin and how my boys see that as well. As a mom, I have a tendency to put my kids first, but as I am reminded so often...my kids will soon leave and they'll look for a wife to settle down with. Kevin and I are modeling for them the ideal marriage. Oh no.....sometimes its not so ideal!

We can't be perfect...we are definately human. But....I want to be sure i am showing them the kind of wife that I want them to have too. Woe...just typing that hits me. I bet you everything if I saw their wife being snippy, judgemental and naggy....I would have something to say! I would not want one of my boys to be treated poorly by their wife. Hmmm...do I always treat my husband with respect, kindness and love??? Do my kids see that? I think its always good for us to each evaluate what we are modeling to our kids and truly understand the power of what we live right in our own homes.

Check out the book! Kendra has a website that I found as well. Here is something from her home web page. My friend Julie and I were just talking about giving kids independence and how they need that to grow. I thought this was good to pass on!

Here you go! And for more...visit her website www.kendrasmiley.com

Celebrating Your Child’s Growing Freedom

Parenthood can be viewed as an unusual profession. Because the goal is to work your way OUT of a job. Sometimes the idea of “letting go” is a little uncomfortable whether it is sending your child to kindergarten or off to college. So, how can you do it when it’s time to let go?

• Start now. “Letting go,” letting your child mature and assume increased responsibility, is a process. One of the goals of parenting is to raise responsible adults. That doesn’t happen automatically at a pre-determined age. It is a matter of gradual development.
• Look for ways to give age-appropriate responsibility to your child. Brainstorm with your spouse. A young child can help by bringing you the new baby’s diaper. A pre-schooler can help you clear the dishes from the table. A son or daughter in elementary school can unload the dishwasher, learn to change his or her sheets, or work in the yard. An older child can and should take on more responsibility, possibly with laundry and money management.
• Be intentional in doing less for your child and helping him learn to do more. Kids develop problem solving skills when they are given the opportunity. The child whose mom or dad intervenes at every turn, doesn’t have the freedom to succeed or to fail (and to learn how to recover from failure).
• Relish the fact that your child is maturing and changing. On the days it makes you feel a little melancholy, remind yourself of the blessing of seeing your child moving toward the goal of responsible adulthood.


Blessings!

Kendra

Seriously????

My youngest, Max can say some really funny things. He can do some really funny things too. Not too long ago I found out that when I dropped him off for Wednesday night church, he had gone into the men's bathroom, put on his ninja gear (head to toe mind you) and was sneaking behind objects and rolling in the floor as if he was in a Steven Segal movie. Crazy. But in Max's mind....I think it was pretty darn real. There are more stories...believe me....but I want to explain this picture for now.

I came home from work to find Max and a friend playing around and I had to do a double take when I saw the mustaches on the faces! After laughing a moment....I said what are you guys doing? They quickly responded...without laughter...."We're just being men".

Of course......of course.....

Psalm 16:11
You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Lord, thank you for my life and for allowing me the joy of being a mom. Every day...is truly a gift. I'm filled with your joy. I pray Lord, that we will all continue to see your hand in our lives through the gift of laughter...friends...and family.

Last Days of Summer

How do you make the most of the last week of summer??? That is the question that is going through my house in a big way right now. Granted...this question is not as serious as what would you do if you only had a week to live....but to some....its essentially the same.

We are filling this week with sleeping late, midweek sleepovers, hanging out with friends, spontaneous movie nights....whatever. The last few days will be fun! And then, I have to face the fact that I am now the parent of a junior in high school, an 8th grader and a sweet 4th grader too. Whew...at least there is still one in elementary school, but not for long....I see that happening fast too.

I remember my summer days as a kid and how they seemed to go on and on. But my days were really summer lazy days filled with play time and just fun stuff. I loved that time....and want my kids to have great memories too.

So, enjoy your week and have lots of fun. I like what the Bible says about numbering our days. Realizing that they are valuable....and a gift from God. Each one is an opportunity that we will never get to do again. Wow! That is really cool and sometimes scary to think about.

Psalm 90:12

Teach us to number our days,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom

Lord, teach us to number our days so that we live wisely and without regret. Thank you for our families and the many blessings you give us! You are a most gracious God and giver of good, good gifts, days of summer...being one of them!

What do they see when they look in the mirror?

You know...I typically think that I am pretty good at being positive in front of my kids. I mean, I avoid the typical negative words about others and I hope that I do say more positive things about others in front of my kids rather than the negative. But I wonder what they've heard me say about myself. Do they hear me when I complain about being too fat, too tired, too old looking, too gray or whatever???? I hope not. I don't think I do that too much, but I've noticed something in my youngest that I NEED to try and curtail as much as possible.

Max has recently talked so much about dieting, fat, losing weight...you name it. At first, I thought he was just modest. You know, when he didn't want to swim without a swim shirt....or he wants to wear a shirt to bed, stuff like that.Now I know its because he does not like his little belly that is a bit more soft than it used to be. He is almost 10....and growing like a weed. Nick went though this same thing and ended up having a few years of chubbiness...then he totally grew out of that! But, lately before Max eats, he'll say, "Mom, I think I've lost weight". What this tells me...is that he is feeling guilt about what he is about to do. Something I know about all too well.

I don't want him to associate guilt with food or develop bad habits. As his mom, I can help make sure he gets all the good food choices he needs and I can affirm good choices too. Buy less junk....that's an idea too. But I asked him, Max, do you think you are fat? He just looked at me...like he had been hiding it so well. He then said... "Mom, I don't think I'm fat, I just don't like the way I look sometimes. You know like when I said I liked the picture of me and you and you said you didn't like it cause you looked bad without make up". Ok....why does that make me feel bad as a mom? I'm not sure. I guess because I feel somewhat hypocritical when I tell him to like himself for who he is...and I in turn.....want make up to 'like' my picture more. Ugh...I can complain and blame things on the pop culture and the images I see on magazines... but I also have to look at what I am saying and doing at home to promote self image as well. I felt awful when I heard him say this. Like he totally picked up on my self worth being tied with the vanity of make up!!! Good grief.

I want Max to be proud of who he is and also learn to eat well too. Max is not fat by any means, but he is approaching an age where I can see him putting on a few extra pounds before puberty. Somewhere he learned that fat was not good nor acceptable and he doesn't want to be that way. I'm probably not making much sense - but what I am trying to say is that I want him to feel good about being Max. In every shape and size while his body is growing into the man that he will be one day. We'll eat well and learn what is best for his body...but true acceptance can only be found in Christ. ( I guess I can't find it in make up either huh?)

Anyway, to totally honest with myself and words today, here is the picture Max liked. I guess that is my step out to say hey.....so its not my best but my son really liked it...because we were having a great picnic day in the park last week. That should matter more to me too! Ah....freedome. or not.... LOL.

Hey...if you have any food / nutrition ideas...please send them my way. Max is more inclined to go for the sweets rather than the veggies...so I do want to help him feel good about himself and eat well too. So...your ideas are more than welcomed here!!!


Psalm 139:15

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth

That's Life

I was listening to Rick & Bubba this morning after I dropped Scout off for his Atlanta Conference and Mission Trip. Those two always seem to have something interesting to talk about. Part of today's show was on kids and the World Series of Baseball for kids. The question was raised as to why there are so many different world series competitions. For some reason the state of our culture is to make everyone feel better now….let everyone go to the World Series if they want to….even if they didn’t earn it. It may sound harsh…but it really is true.

No longer do we have kids playing ‘competitive games’ during play time at school. Now, the 15 to 20 minutes that they have true play time is planned for ‘group’ fair play. We don’t ever want to make anyone feel bad. But when we leave school and enter the real world…..who makes sure we have the ‘fair play’ then? I think we can all say that it is quite competitive when we are out their on our own. I like what Paul from the Bible said about running the race.

I Corinthians 9:23 - 25
I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever

Life is a race and that means….eventually you win, or lose.


Here is a fun email that I got from my uncle not too long ago. Funny…but true reminders of how our times have changed. Maybe we all need to be old school with our kids more. I am finding this to be true with my oldest. He is baffled that we actually want him to apply for a job at a grocery store. Not what he has in mind as a first job. I remember my first job – Showtime Pizza. Not glamorous at all...but at least I had a job. Nick is finding that $20 doesn’t fill the tank for too long. He’ll get it soon. Alright….enjoy the list!

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem! . The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Freedom

Happy 4th of July! I love today. I typically love Homewood Park on this day and 'Thunder on the Mountain' as we call our Redmountain Fireworks set to dramatic music - her in the Magic City. But today....I love some quiet time. No huge plans today until later....gotta love that. Last night we enjoyed a competitive game of Phase 10 with our friends that lasted from 7ish until well after midnight. Honestly....we were all pretty punchy right at that midnight hour when Nick said the strangest thing. I think his exact words were, "Oh yeah, I need to be at the Mosque by 1pm tomorrow". Literally all 4 adults sitting at that table....just paused and then kind of laughed. That was until we found he was serious. You see he has a Muslim friend who is on the football team with him that has invited him a time or two to visit the Mosque with him. My first mama reaction...was absolutely not. But, in Nicks rebuttal, he pretty calmly said, I don't see what's wrong with it, I'm not going to become Muslim and I think that this will help my friend agree to come visit my Wednesday night youth group. Ok...friends....how do you argue with that? The five of us then had a discussion on what is bad and good about going. I love what our friend and children's pastor then said.... "you just can't bow to any false god or idol". He mentioned going is one thing...but participating is another. Nick seems to get that and said he wouldn't participate he is just trying to find a way to get his friend to come with him. I love the passion there...but the process makes me nervous.

My other son, Scout has been invited several times to go to services at The Kingdom Hall with his friend from school. We've never allowed this. My feeling is that he is too young and too new in his walk with the Lord to understand the dynamics of that group. We love his friend and he comes around quite often. We've invited him...but of course, he is not allowed to go with us. But...we still enjoy him as our friend. Maybe one day.....Scout will be asking us to support his actions when trying to reach out to his friend. Oh....what will I do then?

This all reminds me of a day about 3 or 4 years ago when my husband let a couple of Mormon young men into our house. He offered a cool glass of water to them on a hot day while they pounded the pavement. (Mark 9:41 I tell you the truth, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to Christ will certainly not lose his reward.) After they had been in our home a few moments and we had exchanged hellos....they were quick to ask.."So are ya'll LDS?". "No", we answered with a smile..."why do you ask?". (the obvious answer was that we were smiling and actually allowed them into our home....it was kinda clear by the attire who they were) We developed a relationship with these guys over a couple of weeks and though we never attended service with them...a story for a later date, when we talked about the differences in our faith...they agreed to come to a Friday night service we were having. I'll never forget the face of one of our pastors when we walked up that night with our Mormon Friends in their black and white attire...and Elder name tags. His face was priceless...and his words were something like.."in all my years in a Church of God...I don't think I've ever seen this". All of that to say, the experience allowed us to talk about our God...our Jesus and we know that made way for God to work in those men. We might not have seen the final result...but we were part of a plan because God's word never returns void! Am I right??

So...breaking this down, if I really want my kids to have a passion for winning souls - I guess that will mean at times....I have to trust God and the discernment the Holy Spirit gives to me. I know that Nick knows.....there is one God...one Jesus...named Jehovah Yahweh - I AM. So, our plans today....include Nick's visit to the Mosque at 1pm. This might not work for you....but in our life...it seems to fit with other examples that are pretty similar. What I mean is that I see and can hear God saying..."This is why you are here...to SHARE MY WAY". In fact, I see it all around us in the way our lives are changing with church in general. We all have different assignments here on this earth and we are all here to touch different people, even the Muslims....Jehovah loves them too.

Independence, freedom of religion....freedom in Christ. The dictionary defines freedom as the quality or state of being free,the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action, liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another.

Life in Christ is the ONLY spiritual life based upon freedom. Freedom to choose a life with Christ. He NEVER forces himself on us. He waits....He wishes to live and walk with us and enjoy life. How different for our Muslim friends. How beautiful.....if we can lead them to that true Freedom.

When was the last time you shared the opportunity of True Freedom with someone who needed it? I'm just asking.....I'm asking myself the same thing.

John 3:16-18 (The Message translation)

16-18"This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person's failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.


2 Corinthians 3:16 - 18

But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

A Good List

Many of you know I love to read all kinds of raising kid books! Especially those on boys. Speaking of boys....don't you love that picture of those handsome boys? That is my nephew in the center, Alec. We are looking forward to seeing him this weekend. I thought the picture was great for thinking of boy books and boy stuff in general. Anyway, back to books. Often I find them and pass them onto Kevin. I think we have enough to share with most parents we know! Have I read each cover to cover? Most, yes. Others, looked more appealing in the bookstore! Last year, a good friend of ours Darrell Garret gave Kevin a book on raising boys. It is written by S. Truett Cathy. The book is called, ‘It’s Better to Build Boys Than Mend Men’. Cool title huh? Kevin read this book in a just a few days. He has recommended it highly to many of his friends as well. I recently gave it to my boss who is in the throws of raising his 16 year old son. Need I say more??? Anyway, after talking with my boss on the book and why he liked it, he mentioned a list found within the book. It is written by H. Leo Boles and truly is a great life list. I was thinking of the list this morning and a few of the things I could add to that particular list myself. I thought since it sparked thought in my life and things I want to share with my kids…..I would share it with you too.

Things I wish I had known before I was Twenty-One

That my heath after thirty depended in large degree on what I put into my stomach before I was twenty one.

How to take care of money.

That a man’s habits are mighty hard to change after he is twenty-one.

That a harvest depends upon the seeds sown.

The worthwhile things require time, patience, and work.

That you cannot get something for nothing.

The folly of not taking older people’s advice.

The value of absolute truthfulness in everything.

That what Mother wanted me to do was right.

Dad wasn’t an old fogy after all.

More of the helpful and inspiring messages of the Bible.

The greatness of the opportunity and joy of serving a fellow human being.

That Jesus Christ wants to be my Savior and Friend.

That is a great list isn’t it? What about you? What would you add to that list? Me? I would add these to my things that I truly wish I would have known before I was 21!

A Sister is a friend who is there when your BFFs forget who you are and where you live.

Authentic friendship is found when you stop pretending to be perfect.

The Holy Spirit is moving around me. Active in the wind, the creation and that little voice inside my head.

Keep a Journal…you won’t remember where you’ve been or the many cool things that God does for you if you don’t.
Oh…there are more……and probably they are similar to yours. Go journal some down and then share them with your kids. They have a few years before they turn 21!

If you see Nick on the road.....be sure to wave!

Well, it’s official – our oldest son, Nickolas passed his drivers test yesterday. He was so excited. We were too…..we see less driving to the football field in our future! Woo Hoo! After he passed his test, Nick was filled with a new confidence we had not seen in him before. Maybe confidence is not the right word. Maybe…it should be called ‘foolish wisdom’. All the sudden he could give anyone driving advice! So, maybe it was not all foolish…whatever you call it…he felt good!

Kevin and I sat on the couch last night as we handed the keys to our son. Nick took a friend with him on his first solo journey to the movies. It was very surreal but exciting too because I remember how cool that felt. Total independence, or at least I thought that at the time! Anyway, our deal was that he was to call us when he got to the movie theater. Guess what happened? No call. So, being the mom that I am, knowing the movie had already started – I called his cell until he answered. (Teenagers don’t turn off their cells in the movie…they only silent them. You know… they don’t want to miss an important call) So, he finally answers and tells me the movie started so he can’t talk. Excuse me….you forgot to call me was my reply. “Oh…mom, I forgot. I’m sorry. We’ll you can see that I got here safe. So everything is fine”. I had a moment to tell him that “no…it wasn’t all fine and if you are going to drive you MUST listen and obey me. This part is about me and my security in knowing you get where you are going safely”. I wasn’t angry….just needed him to know this is an important part of us allowing him to drive now. And…it was dark! He should be glad we even let him go!!! Right?

So…its time to be very clear with our rules. With Nick being the oldest…this is the first time we’ve had to go over driving rules and expectations. I would love to hear from some of you who have already been here…or ideas you remember from your teenage driving days. What advice do you have for a first time parent of a 16 year old?

No subject off limits!

Wow, the subjects we have to talk about with our kids get crazier and crazier don’t they? Just when you think you’ve talked about the scariest thing….there is another subject just waiting to become the next shocking topic. This past weekend we visited The Church at Brookhills to hear David Platt talk about Homosexuality. We knew it would be enlightening and we were not disappointed. The fact that our teenagers deal more directly with this subject should encourage all of us as parents to hear more on how to biblically discuss this with our kids. Kevin and I have had conversations with the boys before, but I will admit – that most conversations were lacking a bit of biblical authority and scripture. Sometimes as Christians we know just enough to be dangerous. Just enough to misquote and believe what we think is the truth. Do you know what I mean? The bottom line is this – I took a million notes and have a few things outlined in my Bible, but I still don’t feel adequate enough to wrap it all up for you. I totally encourage you to visit the website for The Church at Brookhills and listen to the podcast on this one. Do I think you’ll like it? Well, my 16 year old could not write notes fast enough on Sunday am. That tells me it might capture your attention as well!

Homosexuality has been a subject that our oldest has been hit with a few times. He has had friends from both church and school admit to struggling in this area. Our culture encourages the behaviour. Our teens are encouraged to experiment, go with what feels good. In some ways, they are taught that the Bible is not the absolute – its been translated one too many times to be completely accurate so don’t look only to that source. YIKES!!! The most accepted trend seems to be with girls experimenting and experimenting in very social situations, like parties. Its totally no big deal for a girl to kiss another girl. Its not even considered disgusting. That…breaks my heart. There are teenage girls, that one day, will deal with guilt and shame and possibly even addictions they just walked right into during their high school year. Bottom line – God is clear on sexual issues and it is in the Bible. We need to be constantly affirming the word of God in our children as an absolute authority. ABSOLUTE. Something that Platt also said Sunday was that while we need to be absolute and strong within our convictions, we must also love people….even the people that go against our lifestyle and our convictions. You don’t have to condone what they do…but you are called to love all people and teach your children to love. We cannot morally decide what sin is ok and what is an outrage. That doesn’t make much sense does it. All sin is equal in the eyes of God. Sin is sin…and we are all sinners in need of HIS grace. Thank you Jesus for your grace!!!!

There is a pretty new song out right now called ‘I kissed a girl’. It is by a young singer named Katy Perry. You may not know this, but Katy Perry was raised in a Christian home and before she broke out as an edgy secular singer, she was singing for God. She was a Christian recording artist and was under the name Katy Hudson. A lyric from one of her songs, Faith Won’t Fail from 2004 “For He’ll prevail in the midst of all my trials and tribulations. And He’ll prevail in the midst of all my sin and temptations”. What happened and how are Katy’s parents? Are they completely disheartened? Do they question what they did???? What they didn’t do???? I have friends who have teenage children who they are praying will find their way back to God. Its been a reality for me to see that sometimes, no matter what we do or pray, free will allows and even demands that our children walk their own spiritual journey as they grow older. It is for this reason we have to be sure we are equipping our children with the word as much as possible. Remember, the bible tells us that though all of our temptations are different, He will not allow more on us than we can handle.

I Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

So that means when our kids become an age where they are responsible for walking in their own spiritual walk, they will have the ability, tools, gifts…everything….they need to make their own decisions if we bring them up in the way they should go. As parents, that is a part of our releasing that into His hands. I am beginning to learn how to do that. Their spiritual life is not about me, or Kevin. So my reaction to my kids when they fall or make a wrong move, has to be one of teaching and sometimes discipline because its all about THEM and their walk with God. We have to teach them to find their trust in the Lord. Wow…what a job! But one with amazing rewards too. Check out the music your kids are listening to. Are there songs that you need to discuss with them? What about Katy Perry…any of her songs on your teenagers IPOD? Check it out and see. And…for a list of other songs you may want to check out…click on the link to the top songs for this week below.
P.S. Don’t forget to visit The Church at Brookhills website for David Platt’s podcast - AMAZING
http://www.brookhills.org/

Updates and Thoughts

Enjoying a weekend of found time...I think you know what I mean, I find that I am enjoying getting a grip on my loads of laundry, watching movies I've had from my online blockbuster account (Becoming Jane) and finding a few moments to blog some thoughts too. I really enjoy this new trend of blogging...and I enjoy reading others blogs too. I love what my dad said about blogs. He said that sometimes he feels he reading somebody's personal journal - and feels awkward reading them. Even mine sometimes. But, he said it was also really cool to be able to hear and see what goes on in my kids lives and others too. I enjoy the whole blogging process just as I do journaling. I have had several friends do the creative memory thing - and I've felt compelled at times to join them. Seems like the right mom thing to do. But....its too stressful for me. Too much cutting, pasting etc. I don't enjoy that. But a blog is a great way to use your pictures, archive your thoughts and life stories.

Our big news this weekend was from Friday. Nick went to take his drivers test and unfortunately, failed. He was the 3rd test of the day....and the 3rd failing grade the instructor gave out. One girl barely made it out of the parking lot before the instructor made her turn back in and promptly told her it was over and she had failed. She did not put her turn signal on leaving the parking lot. I guess that instructor had seen all she needed at that point.

Nick's test was overall good - if you don't count any of the stop signs he slowed through. Yes, I said slowed through and never stopped. Confusing, because they boldly tell you what to do as you approach them. To be honest, I had never noticed him not coming to a complete stop at stop signs. With me, I see him very cautious. I would have said something if I had noticed only slowing and not stopping....right? But away from me and Kevin...I guess he drives differently. Maybe he was nervous. Or maybe I was too close to or too used to seeing him as I see him and didn't pick up on the fact that he was not doing it correctly. How could I miss that? It seems that is a question we parents as ourselves from time to time about a few things our kids might do...right? Anyway...

As I thought about his test today, I found it very life like. I began thinking of the consequences of driving with other drivers and not stopping at stop signs. That lead to me thinking of life in general. The stop signs, or leadings by the Holy Spirit we have in life. When the spirit BOLDLY says....don't go any farther...stop here. Some call it conviction, others call it their gut feeling. I know that what I hear is the Holy Spirit speaking to me. There were times as a teenager I didn't listen and stop but I proceeded with a slowing...telling myself I had done all I needed to, but never a complete stop. (like Nick's driving) How I wish I would have stopped more and slowed less. I could have avoided a few unpleasant situations, hurt feelings and less bruises I am sure! But God is good....and he loves us through all the circumstances we go through. Thank goodness. Funny how God can speak to us through most any circumstance. That of course, led me to talk to Nick about the importance to stop signs...and my life parallel as well. Instead of just laughing at me....Nick did say, "Wow, I never thought of it that way". By the way, he still laughed at me.

He'll take his test again on Monday. He'll definitely remember to stop at each stop sign. I hope that this is now a reminder of how important it is to ALWAYS stop and pay attentions to signs. Hmmm, pay attention to signs of all kinds. I hope that he also thinks about our talk and how sometimes when the Holy Spirit says STOP....we need to listen. Nick is definitely growing into a man. Look how much he looks like his dad. Amazingly handsome and grown up...but still a boy learning to be a man after God's own heart. He'll keep learning how to listen to the spirit that lives within him his entire life. I don't think we ever have it completely figured out, but as we grow older, I am thankful that the voice we hear is more recognizable and for me, easier to follow.

Pray for Nick on Monday.....red, octagonal sign means STOP!!!!!

Spot checking their phone....

I talked to a lady yesterday that said she was opposed to parents who read their kids text messages. She felt that it was an invasion of their privacy. She felt the same about logging in to their facebook and myspace pages. I immediately thought of the teenagers that have taken their own lives and left clues all over these online journals. Wow....I am sure those parents feel much differently now. I guarantee you they wish they would have read their childs words.

If our children are posting words or pictures for the entire world to view, why do we feel we are invading their privacy if we view them? As parents it is our responsibility to be in the know.

It takes effort, patience and self control. Why patience and self control? Well, its that reactionary thing we have that sometimes BUSTS out. As parents, when we see something that we know is not right or needs discussion, we have to take hold of that teachable moment. We need to try to react less and parent more. Think about that.....reactions are sometimes involuntary and they can just explode with emotion. When that happens we lose a teachable moment. We've all been there....don't deny it.

My kids know I spot check their text messages and online journals. And even though they know that...I still find things from time to time that we have to discuss. Things that they think might be funny......sometimes aren't. Sometimes I am able to share how things may hurt them in the future. I have to remind them that what they share online is so important. Not just their personal stuff, but pictures too. They have to think ahead to what might effect someone else. What can effect them in the future if someone is looking at them for a job. You know most large corporations now use google to do image and word searches with someone's name to see what pops up. No surprises...... So, be certain before you post your craziest moments online, better yet...maybe don't document each crazy thing with a picture. That might be a better idea anyway.

So, if you haven't checked their phones lately, or their myspace or facebook - do it today. Its Saturday, and it might be raining where you are. (Its raining here...so I don't want to get out just yet) That means you've got some time. Ask your kids to sit with you while you view their pages. And maybe....get your own facebook page. The benefits? I'll post that on another blog....but not only will you learn how to use one of the primary communication tools of the teens today...you'll also be updated daily on the activities of the 'friends' in your network. Activities can mean pictures too...so every time your kids (if they are your facebook friend) upload new photos....you'll know and you'll have a chance to view them without happening upon them at a later time. Just a thought....

Playing Games

Do your kids like to play games with you? We love games at our house. All kinds...cards, boardgames, DVD games, you name it...and we probably play it! Tonight Max and I took on Kevin and Scout. It was fun for all of us...until Max and I took the lead. When that happened, Scout started taking his little brother down. I mean letting him have it verbally....Poor Max! Of course we asked him to stop and we didn't allow him to make Max feel bad. It was just obvious that Scout was not going to be happy, or play nice unless he was winning.

Max was enjoying it and totally having a great time! Scout was sulking and getting a bit smarty. We've seen this behavior a bunch lately. Even in the car after football practice with his friends - there is so much smack talk! I mean, there is more cutting on each other than complimenting what they see each other do on the practice field. Why is that?

It seems to be a struggle for Scout to compliment his peers and brothers when they do something good. Have you found that to be the case in your children? Do you find that they only seem to enjoy games when they are the one winning? I know that is normal for some kids and its a learning process to become a gracious winner and a friend who can truly wish the best for his friends at all times!!! That takes maturity. I am praying that Scout soon grows into that kind of friend. I also know that right now, his negative comments come from a place that feels insecure about his reality. That is why he feels a bit intimidated by others who may be doing better at some things than he is. Hey...I still struggle with that some times and I'm about to hit 40!

Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

That verse stands true in most EVERY circumstance we can walk into. Doesn't it? Does that mean that I can say something cutting when I feel bad about myself? No! It doesn't allow for us to ever say anything bad, mean spirited or hurtful to or about anyone else. It says to only say what is helpful...beneficial. Maybe if I keep that standard with my children, they will learn to be gracious losers as well as humble winners. They'll grow into people that are able to give compliments....even when they feel a bit jealous. They'll learn as we all need to learn that its just not about us....ever. You know? It's always about someone else and seeing something good.

If you know my kids...please feel free to pinch their little arms if they are ragging on each other. I need all the help I can get. I know I still have years of this ahead of me, but I do look forward to hearing more of those good comments, one brother to another. It happens....but its rare at times. Whew...I'll get psyched up for another game night soon! They are too much fun to stay away from.