What do they see when they look in the mirror?

You know...I typically think that I am pretty good at being positive in front of my kids. I mean, I avoid the typical negative words about others and I hope that I do say more positive things about others in front of my kids rather than the negative. But I wonder what they've heard me say about myself. Do they hear me when I complain about being too fat, too tired, too old looking, too gray or whatever???? I hope not. I don't think I do that too much, but I've noticed something in my youngest that I NEED to try and curtail as much as possible.

Max has recently talked so much about dieting, fat, losing weight...you name it. At first, I thought he was just modest. You know, when he didn't want to swim without a swim shirt....or he wants to wear a shirt to bed, stuff like that.Now I know its because he does not like his little belly that is a bit more soft than it used to be. He is almost 10....and growing like a weed. Nick went though this same thing and ended up having a few years of chubbiness...then he totally grew out of that! But, lately before Max eats, he'll say, "Mom, I think I've lost weight". What this tells me...is that he is feeling guilt about what he is about to do. Something I know about all too well.

I don't want him to associate guilt with food or develop bad habits. As his mom, I can help make sure he gets all the good food choices he needs and I can affirm good choices too. Buy less junk....that's an idea too. But I asked him, Max, do you think you are fat? He just looked at me...like he had been hiding it so well. He then said... "Mom, I don't think I'm fat, I just don't like the way I look sometimes. You know like when I said I liked the picture of me and you and you said you didn't like it cause you looked bad without make up". Ok....why does that make me feel bad as a mom? I'm not sure. I guess because I feel somewhat hypocritical when I tell him to like himself for who he is...and I in turn.....want make up to 'like' my picture more. Ugh...I can complain and blame things on the pop culture and the images I see on magazines... but I also have to look at what I am saying and doing at home to promote self image as well. I felt awful when I heard him say this. Like he totally picked up on my self worth being tied with the vanity of make up!!! Good grief.

I want Max to be proud of who he is and also learn to eat well too. Max is not fat by any means, but he is approaching an age where I can see him putting on a few extra pounds before puberty. Somewhere he learned that fat was not good nor acceptable and he doesn't want to be that way. I'm probably not making much sense - but what I am trying to say is that I want him to feel good about being Max. In every shape and size while his body is growing into the man that he will be one day. We'll eat well and learn what is best for his body...but true acceptance can only be found in Christ. ( I guess I can't find it in make up either huh?)

Anyway, to totally honest with myself and words today, here is the picture Max liked. I guess that is my step out to say hey.....so its not my best but my son really liked it...because we were having a great picnic day in the park last week. That should matter more to me too! Ah....freedome. or not.... LOL.

Hey...if you have any food / nutrition ideas...please send them my way. Max is more inclined to go for the sweets rather than the veggies...so I do want to help him feel good about himself and eat well too. So...your ideas are more than welcomed here!!!


Psalm 139:15

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth