Where did that week go??????????

Wow....it's Saturday again, and I can't seem to remember where the last 6 days have gone! It was truly one of those weeks that just flew by. I work at a resort and I see people every day coming in for meetings, looking busy and then there are others who are coming to relax. They want to enjoy our spa, play golf and enjoy friends. That sounds so great!!

Yesterday, we had some major storms. So bad in fact that my neighbor across the street had a strong wind blow by their house taking a TREE with it. Like literally pulling up the root, stump and leaving a gigantic hole in their yard. Crazy! Well, while the winds and storm was hitting, we totally lost power. I found I was not alarmed or scared. Only Nick and I were at home. At first, Nick was the typical teenager asking..."what am I supposed to do now???". Me? Again, knowing everyone was safe somewhere else...and that our house was fine..... I said, "Let's just take a nap!". I was DELIGHTED!!! So, for the next two hours, that is what we did.

Kevin and Scout came home and found us on the couch. They joined us!! It was great! Soon, neighbors were outside talking and Kevin joined them....but not me. I stayed right there on the couch. Later, we realized that it would be a while before the power came back on so we decided to go grab some dinner and a movie. You see, there were no options to stay and get caught up on laundry or even worry about what I would make for dinner....DARN. :)

We had a great night out and enjoyed some much needed family time. In fact, the power in our entire area was out so we ran into friends while having dinner and enjoying unexpected time with them. It was actually quite fun!

All of that to say that I was so tired by the time Friday got here. I had so much to catch up on from being so busy during the week. But that was not the plan. The plan was to just be. To enjoy some time with the family, in the dark, resting, relaxing and then having a great night out! I feel great now. I am ready for a weekend.

God knows what we need and we can find his gifts in THE MOST unexpected places. I am not saying the storm was a gift for me. Heavens no. What I am saying is that if we look for good in things....we will find a gift. Like my solitude and quiet after a hectic week. The last thing I needed was piles of laundry. My body and soul were tired. God is good.....look for the ways he has been good to you. Maybe those ways that didn't come wrapped as gifts you recognized at first. Have you thought of one? Thank him for that and ask your children to do the same thing. Teach them to see those things too.


The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, (or on a way comfy brown sectional)
he leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.... Psalm 23:1-3

Wisdom

I remember early years of raising my boys when random people would tell me, "enjoy these early years, they go by so fast". My thoughts would sometimes be...Oh...I wish at least today would go by...I'm exhausted! That was usually when someone was crying in a stroller or fussing because I was saying no to their latest object of desire. ( I know Kevin, I said yes a whole lot too, I know) I remember feeling overwhelmed when my house was completely a wreck and the laundry load was SO LARGE that I had to go to the laundry-mat to use the commercial machines on a Saturday just so I could get caught up for the week! No kidding. There were days when the thought of what in the world will I make for dinner was equal to the square root of some number that I can not figure out. You know what I mean. Or...maybe you don't. But I do! When you are in the middle of raising your children those early years, you genuinely can't see past the now sometimes. Though you love your children DEARLY, at times you are frazzled into a state of total disillusionment. Is that a word?? Well, if not...it should be.

Yesterday, one of our former assistant's stopped by the office to show us her twin babies. They are 6 months old, a boy and a girl - AMAZING!!! They are just great. Leigh strolled in with this huge double stroller - and she looked amazing as ever too. She worked with us right out of college. Always active and doing amazing things, she cheered in college (and was good friends with Eli Manning...oh..pardon me I seemed to have dropped something there),was president of her sorority, moved to Birmingham, met a young man in medical school, left us,become a pharmaceutical sales rep, married a doctor and planned to have lots of money. (I know...that was not a grammatically correct sentence) Well, after they married, they planned to wait on kids until they were financially ready. But God said....I have a special gift for you two. Now, she stays at home and for the last 6 months has been a full time mommie to those babies! Though amazing....her days are long and busy. There is a part of her that misses the freedom and self indulgence she enjoyed just 2 years ago! She looked at me yesterday while everyone was going crazy over her babies and said...I no know why you said you liked your job so much. She said, "This is hard". I could sense if we were alone, the tears would have flowed. She mentioned that there is a part of her that is sometimes resentful because her husband gets to go to work. That is so normal. I encouraged her and agreed with her on how hard it was. I also offerred for me and Kevin to go to her house ANYTIME to watch those babies. We have baby fever and love to love on other people's babies. You see....we know....the days and years really do fly by. Ours have. Oh the wisdom of those random people when my kids were small....

When I got home yesterday, there was another reminder for me of how fast time goes by. My neighbor Shelley dropped in with Cannon. I think he is now 3. Now, if you've read my blog before, Cannon is also the little guy who woke up one morning with all the stuff in his jammies!!! Go back and read that one from last month if you missed it. Shelley wrote a sweet blog on that!!! Anyway, Cannon loves my boys because they are big and they love him...because he is little and way cool. Anyway, we chatted for a while and then she left Cannon to play with the boys. Watching him run around and play with the boys was just wonderful. His voice, just precious. He got a snack from our snack jar and just held it. I picked up on the fact that he needed some help opening the wrapper, so I asked him "Do you need me to open that for you?". He quickly said, "yes, I can't because I'm little". I then said, "You're not too little, your big". He just grinned, and jumped on the couch between Scout and Max. I just loved it!!! I see my boys in him. We've come far from that age and I wonder, what I missed. You know, the days that I was so busy, stressed or overwhelmed that I took for granted a cute smile, precious words or invitation to play a game or read a book.

I have another friend, Jennifer who has two young kids. Her stories of her little girl are hysterical. She is one my Sugar Baby sistas. We love to hear Chloe storis, because they are so far out...you can barely believe it happens. Let me just say....Jennifer's precious girl can even get out of a duck taped diaper! I wish I could share that story with you. Maybe I'll ask her to write it and I'll post it!! Priceless. Anyway, within our group - she is the youngest and has the youngest children. She is in that place where nothing ever feels completed, your house is always a task list and the kids are always in need of your time and energy. Many of us remember those days. She needs us to be there for her to encourage and pray for her and remind her not just that the days will get better. In all seriousness, where is the encouragement in that? Because those are BETTER DAYS. But to enjoy them. Not push off her very real feelings of daily mom frustrations, but to find joy there as well. To share our failures and feelings of frustration we had at that time and things we did to find joy. We've all been there. I don't know many June Cleavers. Another one of my SB Sisters has twin boys that have entered adulthood. That's my Melanie. She tells us when we need to stop sweating all the small stuff. She can share that we have to give our kids wings and that they will eventually have to walk out their own faith and life journey. She is one of my go to people right now. My oldest is closer to her boys, excuse me, men and I find many things I can relate to in parenting from what they have been through.

As mom's and dad's we need to encourage each other. This is but a season in our life. And we all know seasons pass one from another. We are either a season behind or season ahead of others in our lives. We can find encouragement, laughter and wisdom from those who have already walked through the seasons we are presently experiencing.

I know this is long....and it is Saturday morning. So, I am now going to enjoy my day with my boys. Yes, Kevin is still out of town visiting with his Grandparents now in Winter Haven. We are ready for him to come home! I've said it before, but I am blessed. I love my family and I will enjoy the time spent with my boys today!!

Psalm 90:12...So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Do you know your child's love language?

Have you read 'The Five Love Languages of Children'? The book is written by Gary Chapman & Ross Campbell, MD. In this book, they write about how we can show our kids how much we love them by finding the way they see and recognize love the easiest. They explain the five love languages as being physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service. They have a book for married couples as well. Like alot of men, Kevin's gift is that of physical touch. He needs me to touch him when I walk beside him or sit on the couch with him. When he is stressed...he can be calmed with just one hug! Seriously....it's not me. I'm not magic - but the hug is! Just like we crave certain things from our spouses, our kids crave certain things from us.

Remembering that,I pulled this book out last night as I was thinking how my kids have grown up. Their needs of me and Kevin have changed too. What I mean is this; Scout used to really see acts of service as my show of love for him. When I did things for him, it reaffirmed my love for him. If I didn't do something for him, like cook dinner (Sunday can be cereal night), Scout was likely to feel less loved that night. When I saw this, I would try to make it up to him and fix something for him. Always...I would get a big smile. As if he was saying.."Whew..she still loves me". That is the way he saw it anyway. At the age of 13 now, he is more likely to choose quality time with either Kevin or me. That speaks volumes to him now. The acts of service are still important, but the quality time is the one he'll pick if given a choice.

Max's love language is gifts. He loves treats. Sometimes too much. But that is one way that Max feels loved. The language of gifts doesn't only include store bought items. It can be a gift of a note in his backpack, maybe a note or piece of candy hidden in his desk after a school visit - anything. Just something given to him out of the blue. He loves that!!

When Nick was younger, quality time and acts of service probably tied for his strongest love language. Now....I find that what speaks to him most is words of affirmation. As I reviewed the book last night, I read the section on words of affirmation. I immediately saw a paragraph that stood out to me. It started out by saying that if your child is regularly asking you if they've done something good or what we think about this or that...they are seeking words of affirmation from us. Wow...that totally described what my almost 16 year old is doing. His typical confident self has become a bit unsure lately. He is daily asking me what I think about something he did. Did I think he did a good job driving home? Did I like the song he played on the piano or guitar? What do I think about his clothes? I could go on. I thought that I did a pretty good job complementing him on a daily basis. But maybe, I take for granted that he just knows how I feel or that I think he is talented.

Tonight, we went out for dinner. Kevin is out of town and I worked a little later than usual today. So I called home...told the boys to be ready and we would grab some dinner. When I picked them up, Nick asked if he could drive. He is a good driver so I was fine with that. Within the first few minutes, he had already asked me, 'Am I doing good mom?'. 'Coach Shores said I did a good job driving on the Interstate today'. Seeing the need - :) I quickly said, 'Yeah buddy, you are doing a great job. You are a good driver'. His bearded (yes bearded) face just lit up. He smiled and thanked me, then went on to tell me why he thought he was a good driver. Even though our kids may look confident on the outside they crave and NEED our spoken words of affirmation. Hear that...our spoken words. Maybe now more than they did as little kids. Words of affirmation do not only include the common 'I love you'. Affirming words can also be words of encouragement, agreement and even spiritual discipline. The book goes on to say that if you have a child that has words of affirmation as their primary love language, you'll find that harsh, loud words don't reach them in the way of discipline. Wow...that is so Nick. Nick will totally shut down if he feels we are yelling or mad. But, if we approach him with gentle words, he'll talk about anything! When our children hear us using kind words with them...remember that they too are more likely to share those types of words with others.

Words of Affirmation include; words of affection and endearment, words of praise, words of encouragement, words of guidance. Gary Chapman writes, 'For children whose primary love language is words of affirmation, nothing is more important to their sense of being loved than to hear parents and other adults verbally affirm them. But the reverse is also true - words of condemnation will hurt them very deeply. Harsh and critical words are detrimental to all children, but to those whose primary language is words of affirmation, such negative words are devastating. And they can play those words in their minds for many years'. Wow....the power of words.


Proverbs 12:18 from The Message Translation

18 Rash language cuts and maims,
but there is healing in the words of the wise.

It's a beautiful day....why are you inside????

Alright, after a night and morning of total rain we are truly enjoying an amazing afternoon. Why then....do my children want to stay inside? I guess that is a problem that all parents have at one time or another. I just remember it being so different when I was growing up. My mom would have to yell and yell for us to come inside some days! We would play outside until it was dark. That was typically the sign for us to go in for the night.

After everyone got home today and we had our chats about who did what and who had what homework - I threw them out! I opened the door and said.....alright guys, not sure what you'll do...but go find something to do outside. They looked as if I had grounded them. It took a few minutes, but finally....Ah...it happened. They were enjoying some rough time on the trampoline. Nick found some quiet time in the hammock. They were truly enjoying the afternoon. I so enjoyed watching them as I sat on my porch and typed.......um....yes, typed reply emails to my clients. So not fair! But...my view, was amazing. Not a beautiful view from the resort I work in, but an awesome view of my boys. Suddenly, I was reminded of how blessed I have been to have a job that I love that also allows me to be home each afternoon. God is good. So good....and so generous.

Can you think of something great God has given you today? I sometimes over look those things. I don't mean to, I just get busy with life. I find that I have to take time to remind myself of the many blessings I have received and then share with my kids just how grateful I am...and to who I am grateful! I want my kids to know that my blessings come from the Lord and I am thankful. Just like when we pray and and thank God for our food. Really......God, we thank you for our food. I reminded my oldest of that just last night as he was trying to rush through a very rehearsed dinner prayer. When he finished, I asked him - "What were you saying to God just then?". He said, "the blessing". I asked him again, "no, what were you saying to God? You know He is listening to you when you pray and he knows your heart.". I told him I was not getting on to him, I just wanted to remind him that empty prayers don't fool God. He knows the heart of the one who speaks to Him. He knows if we are grateful and thankful....and he knows when we just spout words. I reminded my boys that some kids don't have food. They would love what we have, I told them. Scout was quick to tell me that he would gladly give WHOEVER the chicken pot pie that sat in front of him! He was not happy last night and sat there FOREVER - but that is another story. Mom - it's true, but we didn't reach the 9pm time. He'll have to try harder to beat my record!! Anyway...back to being grateful and thankful - I want to have a grateful heart and teach my kids to do the same. I forget far too often how wonderfully blessed my life really is.

Lord, we thank you for a beautiful afternoon, for children playing outside, children who are able to play outside. Lord we thank you for our jobs and how you provide for us. Food, homes and so much more! You are so good to us and we love you.