Ok...seriously, what do you think? I've looked at both for the last several years. I think I've found an online networking tool that fits the needs for my children. Now I know they don't have to have a networking page on line....but their generation communicates this way. It is not going away. Facebook and networks like Myspace are replacing the ways of Instant Messenger and Email. Kids just don't email anymore - they Facebook. Their profiles are en extension of 'who they are' and some are really great. I've seen many that display a wonderful Christian testimony....and others that quite honestly aren't that great - I'm sure you've seen them too. At church last night, one of our college kids told me that she had been looking at Nick's Facebook and knew one of the girls he was posting messages with from his school. She told me she didn't care too much for that girl...and told Nick and basically told him she would be watching him, even if they are just friends. Her words to me were 'you have someone helping you look out for Nick on Facebook'. Wow...that is nice. In fact...every time an adult or good Christian friend becomes a 'friend' of his...that is more help. That, I like!
Anyway, like I've said we've done both and I see far LESS of a problem with Facebook. Myspace seems to get random SPAM mail far too often and it is typically junk and something I don't want my kids to see. I feel like I have to discuss something all the time with my kids regarding Myspace. It does not feel as secure. Also, I feel my kids are more vulnerable with this site too.
Facebook, seems more secure and less skanky to be honest with you. I personally have an active Facebook page now and totally appreciate the usefulness in keeping up with people I've not seen in a long time. And..enjoying the pictures of their sweet families.
In regards to allowing your kids access to social networking sites, that is a huge decision and is also one of commitment. Just because I feel better about Facebook over Myspace - I still have to monitor their pages and be sure they are posting things that are appropriate. I still go through their friends list (and ask about their friends) and I still visit their friends site every now and then just to see the vibe that's out there. And that...is ok. It's not spying, it's being an informed and responsible parent. Just another tip - because I have a facebook page - I am updated each time my teenage posts a picture or joins a group through the news feed of my 'friends' section. Quite helpful. This allows me a window into his account and an opportunity to talk with him and bring it up in another way rather than always saying "I was in your account today". This way...you can sometimes get less of that defensive attitude we sometimes get...you know the one our kids can give us!
We have a window to teach our children principals and life management while they are still in our home. My oldest will possibly be leaving in just two years. I feel it's part of my job to help him learn how to live in this world...and still not be of this world. Facebook, Myspace and other networking sites are active and a part of their culture. He'll either learn how to manage now....with Kevin and I as his guides, or he'll find his own way when he leaves. I'll choose the teaching him at home way.
Kevin also has a Facebook page. He reluctantly created one after I told him about the friends I was reconnecting with online. Two were former pastors at our church and that is when he thought...Ok...I'm getting in on this too! He also connects with some of Nick's friends this way and now has an opportunity to speak into their lives as well. He can now look into their lives a bit...and maybe help them make some better decisions during these high school years.
A book I've recommended before is Logged In and Tuned Out by Vicky Courtney. This book is fabulous! It's a discussion on bringing your kids up in a godly way regarding Internet, cell phone, social networking sites...you name it. If you have middle school or high school age kids - READ IT!
You may also want to pick up a copy of the latest Birmingham Parent magazine. It's the free one in the grocery store. They have an article entitled Facebook Faceoff that is really good this month. It really encouraged me to write this blog actually.
We can teach them while in our homes how they can use these tools in a Christian, responsible way. Something to think about - if we don't guide them through these tools when they are within our home....what will they do when the leave???? Do you think they'll get it right the first time on their own?
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