My niece is here!!!

Peighton Bailey LaShun was born yesterday around 4:20pm. Her mom and dad, Jennifer and Vince are doing great. I was honored and privileged to be in the room to see her enter this world. I am forever grateful for that!! It was awesome and she is amazingly beautiful. I'm reminded again that James 1:17 tells us,

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows

Kevin and took the boys to meet their new cousin last night. They all loved her!!! I was surprised by the tenderness they showed as well as their eagerness to touch and hold her. Max looked at me while he was holding her and said "She's even better than a puppy". Maybe I should have reminded him that my preference would be to get him another puppy...in case he was suggesting something to me.

I am blessed to be placed in the plan of Peighton's life. We are each here to give and pour into someone elses life. Who looks to you? Who has the Lord put in your path that you might love, encourage and help along their journey? It is a privilege to be part of someones life. I'm reminded of that with the birth of Peighton. I am so thankful for her health, her life and God's plan for her life. He knows why she is here. He created her tiny little nose, beautiful eyes and those long fingers and toes! Wow...they are quite long. Please pray for my niece and speak these words over her life with me;

Numbers 6:24 - 26

' "The LORD bless you
and keep you;

the LORD make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;

the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace."

Happy Mother's Day Mom!!!!

I have had a great Mother's Day! I hope all of you moms out there have too!! Mine started with just me and my 15 year old son. He got up and told me that if the power had not gone off...his alarm would have gone off....and then he would have made pancakes. But now, he is up after me, and we don't have eggs to make the pancakes and even if we did, would he really know how to make the pancakes anyway????? Ah....but isn't it the thought that counts anyway? YES - it is!

Though I didn't get the original pancake breakfast I did get a great card, handmade at that. It was very special and said all the things we want to hear as moms. He also sat with me in church. That was great too! Kevin and the boys got home today mid afternoon and we enjoyed some much needed, lay on the couch together, watch movies family time. I love having everybody home. That is the most wonderful mother's day gift. I love those days. I long for them!

I was able to see my mom today too. She and my dad took my grandmother to lunch for Mother's Day. My house was the second stop - and I provided dessert. Cheesecake Factory Cheesecake. My mom has been taking care of her mom for the last couple of years. She has Alzheimers and now needs more care than ever. My mom works during the day and then comes home to care for her mom. The roles are almost reversed now aren't they? The parent becomes the child again. I've heard other people talk about this and I've read articles in magazines before - but not until now did I truly 'get' what it means to become a caregiver for your parent.

What I see in my mom right now is someone who exudes patience and love. Someone who finds joy in every place she can with her mom because they are becoming fewer with each month that passes. I am also in awe of her strength. When my 'Nana' asks my mom the same question in front of me 5 times, my mom answers her each time with a dignified answer. She still shows respect for her mom. My mom is blessed to have my dad with her to help in the care of Nana. He also shows great love for her as he is with her each day. I truly believe both of my parents are who they are because they had loving mothers pouring their lives into them when they were growing up.

My mom is able to be this kind of person because her mom, my Nana brought her up to be a loving, empathetic, caring, wonderful person. She has those attributes because of her mom's care during her growing up years. I love and respect my mom and would do ANYTHING for her, because of my respect and love toward her. She raised me to be that way. She instilled respect and love for my parents inside the core of my being while she was 'training me in the way I should go'. As I get older that verse in the Bible means so much more to me. Not just spiritual matters, but also in the character of my children. If we train up our children to be good to others and to always think of others first, to respect their elders, talk encouraging and uplifting to others - that is the kind of people they will be. Now I don't mean they'll be perfect, but they'll have those ideals at the core of the person they become. Then, when they grow into situations that require much of them - like taking care of an elderly or sick parent, they will be able to walk that road with empathy and understanding. They will desire to give back.

I am beginning (at times) to see some of this 'pay back', if you will, in my sons. What I mean is experiencing them wanting to help me, appreciate me and love me in different ways. For example, when we were driving back from Winter Haven, Florida this past week we were both so tired! After 8 hours of driving it was well past midnight, and you know how driving is when you are tired and it is way late! Nick had been sleeping for a while in the back. Hearing the rain (STORM) he woke up and came toward the front. He off offerred to drive because he was worried about me being sleepy and wanted me to be able to rest. Ok...I didn't say what you are thinking!!! You are possibly thinking that I should have said, "Are you crazy??? You drive at midnight in the rain????". Although my thoughts were close to that, I was so touched that he offered and his concern for me was genuine - I told him I wanted him to get some sleep since he would take a test shortly after we got home. Promised him I was good and then he asked me to please at least get another cup of coffee. I did and we got home safe. But the point was, I've tried my best to raise him to think of others before himself. Sometimes I wonder.....is he gonna get it??? Just being honest with you. Then,things happen like that example I just shared and I think.....he gets it. I am so thankful.

It's a journey of teaching and a life's journey of various seasons where we see the influence of a loving mother. Thank you mom, for loving and teaching me. For not accepting bad manners, meanness and hurtful attitudes within me as I was growing up. Because of your constant 'mothering' when I was a child, I've grown into a caring mom myself, raising boys to be caring dads one day. Happy Mother's Day!


Proverbs 22:6
Point your kids in the right direction—
when they're old they won't be lost. (The Message Translation)

LOST - defined by Meriam Websters dictionary by the following definitions;

1: not made use of, won, or claimed
2 a: no longer possessed b: no longer known


Let us not EVER give up as mothers taking the time to teach, love and go beyond the basics while we are raising our kids. Those traits are things that will take them into adult life and will eventually....come back to shower us with many blessings as well!

Grandpa Duncanson's Life Celebration

Well, I'm back from another week of being away. This time it was to attend Grandpa Duncanson's funeral. This may sound odd...but if you were there, it won't - The service and funeral were both just beautiful. It truly was a celebration and recognition of a life lived to the fullest!!! I am so glad I was able to be there with my entire family. Most everyone was there, even all the way from Alaska. In some ways, it was like a reunion week. For both Grandpa and all of us. Wow. I wish I had a few pics and I would post them for you. We got several of the family, his flowers, the church....and so on. But, Kevin still has the camera and I want to update you on what our boys experienced. I also want to thank you - those who shared ideas with me on talking to my boys about death and heaven. That's what its all about, helping each other when we are at a loss right??? Well, it helped and encouraged me that just being open and available in talking to my kids and letting them talk - would be the perfect way to help them get through this.

I blogged about Max having some mixed feelings about the passing of Grandpa Duncanson and the funeral. Well, he was just great and handled each situation with maturity. My sister inlaw Kelly swears he is an 80 year old man in a 9 year olds body. It does seem that way some times. This week was definitely an experience that I am sure he'll never forget and I am glad. When we approached the casket, he was nervous. After a moment, he reached his 9 year old hand into the casket to touch his Grandpa Duncanson. He just wanted to feel his skin. It made it real for him. And....quite honestly he just wanted to know what he felt like. That...is ok too. He made a few trips to view Grandpa's body. Each time, his hand would reach in and gently stroke his Grandpa's arm, hand or hair. For him, that was closure. You know, sometimes the odd things our kids feel a need to do are the very things that help them understand the most. Even if we don't understand it right? I asked him afterwards what he thought. He just said, "Its ok. He's in heaven and this was just a speech to talk about his life and all the things he did". There you go...I could not have said that any better!

The service included Grandpa's favorite songs, a sermon by his beloved pastor, two son in-laws and special readings from his son, granddaughter and close friend. His granddaughter is just graduating from high school at the end of this month. She spoke so sweetly and fondly of Grandpa Duncanson. Great memories and stories. She told everyone that if they saw the family crying, it wasn't because he has died, it was merely because we are going to miss him greatly. Again, we all knew he was in a much better place.

My middle son Scout, was quiet and is still a bit quiet on the happenings of this week. He is a thinker, and it will take him some time to break down what he's seen, experienced and how he feels. I have to take note of that some days. You know, to not be frustrated because he won't talk to me. It's not about that. Its just the way he works. Maybe on the way home, or even at Grandma's this week - he'll think of something that he wants to talk about regarding the funeral and that will be the right time. Sometimes, its about us letting go of that control and allowing our kids to experience things at their own pace and way, right? Is that hard for anyone else out there???

Right after the service, my oldest son and I hopped in the car so that we could be back into Birmingham on Friday. Nick had a math test and a football scrimmage he could not miss. So, late Thursday afternoon we started out on our 12 hour drive home. Keep in mind, we had just survived the first 12 hour drive 1 day earlier.

Because Nick is 15, I was glad to share some of the driving with him. More than glad actually. And though the drive was not easy, it was a great experience. We had plenty of time to talk. We talked about school, his football, girls and yes....Grandpa's Funeral. He said that it was not as weird as he thought it would be to see Grandpa in the casket. He said that his body really looked empty and that he is glad he saw it. What I found most interesting is that he asked about the hymn we sang during the funeral, 'I'll Fly Away'. You see, he doesn't ever remember hearing that before. So, I explained to Nick that long before Chris Tomlin arrived on our worship scene at church - we had something called a hymnal. He told me that he actually liked that song as well as the other we sang which was 'What a Friend We Have in Jesus'. I have to admit, I always liked that hymn too. Kevin can tell you that I also Love 'Trust and Obey'. I hummed and sung that to each of my boys as I rocked them. It just seemed to be the most soothing to them when they were babies. That conversation ended with him telling me that he wished we sang more of those songs....and then asked if we even had hymnals in our church. I think the answer is no...haven't seen one in a while! And he mentioned the sermons at the funeral. He espcially liked the way one of his uncles talked. He said he felt like he could relate to his Uncle John in way that he rarely finds. That his words were just like he thinks. Now, to be honest with you, I am not sure what that means. But...I liked that he said it. I'll tell Uncle John that too! He's doing something really cool if he can relate to a 15 year old at a funeral! He's one cool pastor.

We talked about a lot of things, and truly this will be one of those things I remember for a long time to come. Our time in the car with just conversation for HOURS. Laughing about stupid stuff - like the people we saw at Sonic totally causing a disturbance at the walk up order speaker. We probably shouldn't have laughed....but it was funny.

Well, we are back to our normal routine now and soon, Kevin and the boys will come home. Grandma Duncanson will soon say goodbye to her other house guests and it will be quiet after much family time, reminiscing and laughing. Pray for her that she will have the peace that only Christ can bring us.

I forget he's only 9 sometimes....

Today was filled with teachable moments. For me, and my children. Two weeks ago, I wrote about my husband's grandfather and his fight with cancer. Since that blog, we've talked with Grandma Duncanson and other family members as we all began to make our hearts ready for his 'Homecoming'. We knew it was coming, but it still doesn't make it easy. On Friday, we learned that hospice had come in for 24 hour care. When that happens, it is a matter of a couple of days at best typically.

Today, was the day for our family. He went to be with the Lord around 2pm Birmingham time. When we got the call, we were quiet and sad. We told the kids - and they too had been expecting this for a few days. For the next few hours, we talked about Grandma and how she must feel. Not just because her husband died. But the fact that she celebrated her 64th wedding anniversary just a few weeks ago. Tonight, for the first time in 64 years, she is sleeping in her home alone. How blessed she was to share her life with him. How she must surely miss him tonight. We also spent hours talking about details. When will the funeral be? How will we get there? Where will we stay? What other details do we need to take care of in just a couple of days to prepare for a special day in honor of Grandpa Duncanson??

Tonight, as my youngest son Max was getting ready for bed, it hit me that I had not asked him specifically how he felt and if he had any questions about death or funerals...or even about Grandpa Duncanson. As his eyes filled with tears and his face flushed...I could tell that the answer was yes.

I hugged him and held him for the next couple of minutes while he cried. He wanted to know how many times he had been with Grandpa Duncanson. He told me he wished there could be more times and memories with him. So I asked him, "what is your favorite Grandpa Duncanson story". He quickly answered that question with, "Oh! That's easy. It's when Grandpa Duncanson wrestled the water moccasin when he was fishing". Ok, I've been married into this family for 17 years now, and I have never heard this story. Seriously. But, Max promises me that it's true. He told me that is the story behind the stuffed (taxidermy) water moccasin in Grandpa Duncanson's study. Ok, that's proof enough for me. The picture at the top of this blog - with all the dead stuff...those are a few of the trophies from his Grandpa Duncanson. It's true! And please, if you are with PETA, please don't comment for me. My plate is a little full this week and I'm quite frankly...just not in the mood to talk about your love for rattlesnakes or bobcats...whatever. Back to my blog - Max went on to tell me that Grandpa also told him that he had wrestled a couple of Alligators too. I'm smiling now, thinking either Grandpa had a really good time with Max...or Max has built up his Great Grandpa in a bigger than life way. Either way, it's Max's memory and that is just fine. I'm glad he has that to keep with him. That's pretty cool. His special part of Grandpa that will help get him through this next week of family time, tears, funeral and maybe some first time scary experiences. This is Max's first funeral. It won't be his last I know, but my mama heart worries for him and what he'll feel this week.

If you have never had a child experience loss (like me) you feel a bit a lost yourself as to how you lead them through it. Kevin and I have two teenagers in front of Max that don't need as much explaining sometimes. I'm kicking myself that it took me all day to have a quiet moment with my very sensitive 9 year old. I should have known. When I asked him about his feelings tonight....the tears just fell. As if he had been waiting all day for somebody to ask....how he felt. But I remember....I'm not perfect. No parent is, and we do the best we can right?? Thank you Lord for helping us!!! I've explained to Max that Grandpa is in heaven and that is where everyone who knows the Lord will be. We will surely see Grandpa again. I've told him that the body that he will see at the funeral is merely a shell and Grandpa Duncanson is not there, he is walking with the Lord and all the many people we've learned about in the Bible. I will hold his hand as he walks through this next week and answer any question he has. I think one of the most important things I've shared today is that it is ok to be sad and cry sometimes. That's normal. Get the tears out....it REALLY makes us feel better when we do!!! He suggested that we take a box of Kleenex to the funeral. I think I'll take his advice on that. I also shared with him that not only does the Lord form us in our mother's belly, but he also knows the story of each of our lives. He knows each and every day we have lived and are going to live. God is not surprised by death - it is his invitation to an everlasting life with him, and he has an amazing ever after for all of those who believe in Him. That is what John 3:16 is all about. I am not certain he 'got' everything tonight. But, he will eventually. Talking about death is not fun, but it's something at one time or another we will have to do with our children. I want to be sure I'm allowing them opportunities to share what is on their heart. I found that I had to ask Max directly today. I wonder if he was scared to ask earlier. Maybe he thought that was something he shouldn't do because we all looked so sad. I don't know....sometimes you just don't know. But here...is something I do know;

Psalm 139: 13 - 16

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.


He knows our days even before we are born. They are ordained and he is a good God. Let us learn to be wise in living our life since our days are numbered. Making the most of every one.

We will miss you Grandpa Duncanson, but we have been so blessed by you!! Thank you for sharing with my boys your stories of wrestling with those snakes and alligators....they'll be in their minds forever I am sure.