A friend once told me to never assume anything. She says that if we assume without asking....it makes a *&% out of you and me. Please accept my apologies if that offended you. I actually thought that statement was kind of funny because it really made sense of the letters inside the word...you know? Anyway....
I struggle sometimes with how frustrated I get because I assume my kids know better some times. Like Max today, when his first response was rudeness to his guests, I had to remind him what being the host is all about. You know, allowing them to go first, chose the game to play and being sure they have what they need to be comfortable? Like offering drinks, snacks, those kind of things. We had a quick heart to heart and he was good. We just had to get that out and he was reminded. I assumed he knew....and I was wrong. Or...maybe he did know and just needed his mom to remind him like they all do every now and then.
Scout has to be reminded about not sweating the little things. We got haircuts Saturday and he was mad that the lady moussed his hair and pulled it all up when conditioning it. He felt angry that she made him look silly. WHAT????? I had to remind him that nobody is out to get him. She was truly just cutting his hair and conditioning it with some leave in conditioning mousse. It was not her sinister plan to make Scout look silly. There was a guy Friday night that took Scout's hat and ran off with it. He eventually gave it back, but only after stomping on it. It seems as though he was not a Bama fan.....and didn't like the Alabama logo. Well, that got the best of Scout all night. I had to tell him to let it go....just let it go or you will waste loads of time being angry because someone was stupid. We washed the hat and all is well in the world again. But assuming Scout has the tools and the patience to deal with all of these situations could lead him feeling pretty lonely. Because I know Scout, I have to talk with him and help him get through these crazy situations and key down. It's just what we do.
Nick....has learned a great deal of assuming too. It seems as though this weekend, his girlfriend told him she needs more attention. Meaning, ask me out more. Meaning, when our plans fall through, take me somewhere different don't just go out with your friends, like he did on Saturday. Let's just say that did not go over well and she is putting the breaks on making sure he gets the message that she deserved better. I am proud of her actually. Her parents have raised her right. Without going into the whole situation, she felt slighted and feels that they have jumped from being best friends to girlfriend / boyfriend.....but sometimes the way Nick treats her on the weekends, feels like it always used to. And that for her...was not good enough. She loves the special things he does for her like the song, the flowers....but she wants to be 'courted' and taken out....alone not with his guy friends tagging along. Nick's response was, "I assumed that she was OK with those guys hanging out with us" . Because that is what they always did. Well...assuming has his girlfriend rethinking some things. And Nick....is on his toes now....because he's realizing how much he cares for her. So...we've had the talk about assuming and how important communication is.
The same goes with me within my marriage. When I assume Kevin is fine.......I might miss something. Every now and then, its vital to ask the question, how are we? Are you OK? Do you need something more from me than I am giving you? I find that when Kevin and I take time to ask each other, there is always something to work on and change. I admit, I have to take a time out usually to make the time to do that, but it is so worth it. To assume your lives are perfect just might......well you know.
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